Default language: Spanish, following the merciless extermination of the indigenous Taino people by the conquistadores.
Pop: 7.9 million.
Capital: Santo Domingo de Guzman.
Does anybody actually like this sort of stuff?
Principal exports: tropical fruit; smuggled parrots; Lego Mindstorms micro controllers. See, you couldn't tell one way or the other, could you.
Climate -now that's what you really want to know - between 19 and 30 Centigrade in January, possibly some cloudy patches. No monsoons or hurricanes, OK Shelly.
It is considered inappropriate and offensive to enter a temple inebriated or in shorts. Sorry.
Another very important one is power supply: US 120 Volts. Didn't really think I'd forget that one did you Dave? Check your laptops for autosensing power supplies.
It is advisable to drink bottled water (or indeed strong alcohol, of course) instead of tap water, to avoid "Caonabo's Revenge".
Best to bring any specific medication with you. Including insect repellent and anti histamines, apparently. Oh dear; there's Raven freaking out already. Average level of public health and life expectancy is better than the US, although that is public health they are talking about there, so make of that what you will.
Haggling is normal. "Your purchasing success will depend on your human-relations expertise." I love this guidebook. It's so cute!
BRING LOTS OF SUNBLOCK! And avoid sunbathing between 10 and 3, it says. Shelly take note, you naughty crispy teacake.
Shopping: 9 till 7:30 Monday to Saturday.
Visas etc. If you are Icelandic; South Korean; Peruvian; Japanese; or a subject of the Principality of Liechtenstein, you can stay for up to 90 days without a visa. Man, there has to be some interesting history in the derivation of THAT list.
UK passport holders, Aussies and Yanks (so you are covered both ways, Lisa) can buy a tourist visa at the airport on arrival. New Zealanders I'm afraid I don't know yet, but I will track this down as soon as I can (or else Shelly will not be able to attend, which from my point of view at least, would be rather a pity. Fenn unfortunately has a UK passport).
Do not take pictures of on-duty military officials. It doesn't say why not, but heck, who needs details for an instruction like that. I'm not pawning Shelly's wedding ring for bail money. Well, unless it's Shelly who is in the military prison. Shelly, don't take pictures of on-duty military officials.
Money: Dominican Peso. This is divided into 100 centavos, but the fact that the notes go up to 2000 pesos suggests that the centavo is hanging on by the skin of its teeth. Credit cards are apparently widely accepted, US cash also in some places.
Another gem from the guidebook, which I just have to quote in full: "...depending on where your flight originated, and on the "tourist sensibility" of the customs officer, you may either be waved through [customs]... or undergo a cursory inspection of your luggage, with the full authorisation of Dominican law. If you are on a business trip, on vacation or traveling for health reasons, everything will undoubtedly turn out well. If, on the contrary, you are part of a group that is smuggling firearms, explosives, drugs or other illegal substances, you will probably find yourself face-to-face with an INTERPOL agent." Yes, boldface caps, no less!
Ah, right. If you get arrested, there is apparently no bail anyway, so Shelly's diamond ring is safe either way. But don't take pictures of on-duty military officials anyway.
Or smuggle drugs (including "all plants of the cannabinaceas family".)
Quick Divorces. NOT MENTIONING ANY NAMES, AHEM! Any marriage to a non-national may be dissolved within 24 hours, provided one of the parties presents a legalised document to the Dominican consulate from his/her country of origin, requesting a "separation agreement by mutual consent" and empowering a Dominican lawyer to bring the case before the court. I will try to track down more info on this, I promise.
No, you fools, not for me and Shelly.
It is possible to rent mobile phones if you like. I don't know whether the DR is GSM or shonky US, but neither do I care all that much, as the vast majority of the people I am likely to feel like talking to will be sipping pina coladas, beers, CFDC, or JD and Cokes (you know who you are) within convenient coconut-throwing distance.
They claim that shopping is quite cheap, including fashion clothing, unfortunately. Mental note to self: must flush Shelly's credit card down the airplane toilet before arrival. Oscar de la Renta is a Dominican Republican, apparently. There.
The DR is one of the largest sources of amber in the world. Duncan, you can be next in the queue for the toilet with Alexis' credit card. Christie's recently sold a piece of Dominican amber with a whole lizard in it. How cool is that! (Unfortunately it went for US$130,000. Sigh.)
There are various national parks, botanical gardens, museums and zoos. Let me know if you want more details.
Right, my wee guidebook has got various other things to say about what there is to do and see around the country, but I will not go any further for the moment as I don't know whether people will want to travel, or just sloth around at the resort. As always, let me know.
